A near perfect Friday night

Don't know about you, but we have a semi precious Friday night ritual that involves a trip to the Lincoln Tandoori on the High St (quite simply the best Indian restaurant in Lincolnshire. We have tried every single other one) a Cobra or two (there is a child present after all!) and it just rounds the week off perfectly. Well, like many other people, we have geographically diverse children who need collecting every other Friday or so, which puts paid to Friday Curry Night (mainly means it becomes Saturday Curry Night and hisself and I just glare at each other as to who has chauffeuring responsibilities!) However, this doesn't fill the aching curry void of a lonely Friday night without my soulmate and I usually wander around the kitchen munching arbitrarily. So what is a girl to do when these nights hove into view. Let me tell you and maybe you, too, won't suffer withdrawal symptoms.

The answer is quite simple, but you need the help of Volcano Chilli and here's the recipe:

1 packet of mini poppadums (must be plain) (I like Waitrose because they're adequately salty)
1 Jar of Volcano Chilli's Hurricane Wilbur Mango Chutney
1 bottle of flint Chablis or mayhap a large bottle of Cobra
1 jar of inferior mango chutney (tonight I was mainly eatingVeeraswamy's Bengal Mango Chutney)
A semi broken heart.

Put large teaspoons of each chutney on a small plate.
Using a separate teaspoon for each chutney smear mini poppadums with alternate chutneys.
Sip or quaff wine/beer with each mini smeared poppadum
Reflect on the quality of the Hurricane Wilbur whose mango is soft and yielding and in small pieces compared to the alt chutney whose mango chunks are hard and large and off putting (and we all know how hard and large can be off putting on a Fricay night)
Be grateful that you have the rest of a jar of Wilbur left for the next time you've been abandoned and life has whupped your wotsit.

Enough pseudo philosophy from me. Get some Wilbur Chutney

Volcano Chilli's very own BBQ Lava Relish

I love chillis. I love them when they're eensy teensy seedlings needing all the love and care I can give them. I love them when they nestle enticingly amongst the foliage in my polytunnel, each little chilli like a firework waiting to explode. I love the baskets of hundreds of thousands of chillis that you find in market stalls in South East Asia when they are piled up like an art exhibit put there purely for the pleasure of being seen. But most of all I love eating them. And this is where Volcano Chilli comes in...... Chris tends to hide his light under a bushel and reviews other people's stuff with unbounding generosity, but in the background he's beavering away creating beautiful sauces and relishes just like this one.

Now, you may accuse me of bias, seeing as he asks me to review stuff, and it would seem ungracious to not be entirely complimentary. However, I'm truer to the cause of good food than that, and I always aim to be objective and honest. I would honestly say that something was wrong or whatever if I needed to. Thankfully it hasn't happened yet, and the BBQ Lava relish is no exception.

I opened this with a view of being strict but fair, but within one nacho dipping I was hooked. The relish is subtly smoky, very tomatoey (made up word) on account of it being made with sundried tomatoes which gives it an intensity of flavour that fresh tomatoes wouldn't, and has a slow heat which doesn't blow your mind or your mouth, but leaves a definitely positive warm glow. I shared it (much to my chagrin) with my friend Bertie from Click Creations no mean chilli eater herself, and what can I say except that this happened within the course of an evening.


We ate it as a dip, but the following morning I spread a nice layer on my bacon sarnie which really perked it up (don't you think a day is too dull without chilli in it?) and a big fat spoonful went into my famous sausage casserole which I am sure is not what it's intended for, but as an all round taste and heat provider, BBQ Lava does the business.

Hawaiian Moloka'i sauce

Today I am reviewing a sauce the likes I have not come across before. Moloka'i Hot Sauce from Arturo's. This is an imported sauce made in Honolulu and is described as a Banana, Coconut and Curry sauce. and as well as banana and coconut, it contains lime juice, cilantro, onion, red pepper all the usual curry spices and surprisingly Peanut butter, which rules out tasting if you have a peanut allergy.

The smell is a little like a khorma sauce with a hint of lime coming out over the coconut and even though it has Habanero chillies in it, it is described on the bottle as a mild sauce.

A descent spoonful and the yummy sweet coconut banana flavour with a citrus aftertaste is bursting over the tastebuds. The heat is mild but definately heat, leaving the tongue with a warm tingle and a nice fruity aftertaste.

Great for seafood and white meats such as chicken as well as mixing with vegetables, this would be an unusual but welcome addition to the summer store cupboard and I will definately be using it for light tasty summer meals.

Naga Napalm Onion Relish

Now people could be forgiven for thinking that I am giving a lot of time to reviewing stuff from the Cambridge Chilli Farm, but when you receive a product that is extra good you have to run with it. That is so very true of the CCF's Naga Napalm Onion Relish.

Reading the ingredients, Red onion, Brown sugar, Red wine vinegar, naga Morich chillies. That is all that is in it, but that is by no means the whole story. Tim Murphy has managed to produce what could possibly be the nices hottest onion relish on the market, putting three naga pods in each jar. The smell on opening the jar is sweet and roasted onion smelling, and the relish is very thick and no surface juices, showing that all the moisture was cooked into the onion leaving bags of flavour.

I grabbed a fork and put a generous dollop in my mouth. Sweet caramel onion followed by OMG real heat. This is not a relish for the pussy wimps out there and certainly now that ten minutes has passed, I can still feel the buzz of the chilli on my lips and tongue.

Don't get me wrong, this is not in the heat league as the really hot sauces, but I cannot think of a relish that packs this much punch as well as flavour.

8 out of 10 for heat and 10 out of 10 for taste.